Aikido Feedback (Receiving Feedback)
- Apr 1
- 2 min read
What This Game Teaches
This exercise teaches participants how to receive feedback with openness and curiosity by blending with it rather than resisting it.
Categories
Emotional intelligence, feedback skills, leadership development, communication, conflict resolution, mindset, personal growth
Group Size
Pairs
Time
10–15 minutes
Energy Level
Low to Medium
How to Play
Partner A shares a short story, idea, or piece of work.
Partner B offers feedback—this can be constructive or critical.
Partner A practices receiving the feedback using three principles:
Don’t contend (don’t argue)
Don’t defend (don’t justify)
Blend (accept and explore what’s being offered)
Partner A responds with curiosity, asking questions or acknowledging what resonates.
Switch roles.
Variations
Have participants repeat the feedback back before responding
Add a second round where they choose one piece of feedback to apply
Practice with real-world scenarios (presentations, pitches, etc.)
Why It Works
Most people hear feedback as a threat, which triggers defensiveness.
The Aikido approach reframes feedback as something to work with rather than fight against. By blending with it, participants stay grounded and open.
This builds resilience and makes feedback more useful. In storytelling, this allows you to refine your work without losing your voice.
Pro Tips
Remind participants they don’t have to agree with everything—they just have to stay open
Encourage slowing down responses
Focus on curiosity over correctness
Origins / References
-Inspired by principles of Aikido and applied to communication and feedback practices
-Earl Vickers: http://www.sfxmachine.com/docs/yes,_and.pdf
Try This In Real Life
The next time you receive feedback, pause before responding and try asking one clarifying question instead of defending your position.
If you want to build confidence in giving and receiving feedback, explore coaching and workshops at Your Story, Well Told.
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